perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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