I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
