so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
