the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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