I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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