White coat. Heels.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
