What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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