dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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