i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
