woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
