also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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