it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
