i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
