talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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