I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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