pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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