sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize