So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
