Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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