omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
