I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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