Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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