i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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