you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize