OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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