my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
