I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
