I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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