but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
