I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
