I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
