I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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