At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
