Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
please come you make the beer taste better
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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