I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
