physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
