why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
