it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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