Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
