I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
