after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
