so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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