That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
