i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
