Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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