his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
