This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The air taste purple.
Randomize