My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
