Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
