why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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