hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
