I've blown a few things in my day
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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