so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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