mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
