Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
