Pants 0. Shit 1.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
