So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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