no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize