Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
