He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
