Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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