Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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