I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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