You made me cry and you don't even care
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
